Microsoft Selling Macs with Latest Ads

Mac users are a shaudenfreud motivated bunch, the hard core would just as soon see Microsoft make a huge blunder as see Apple create something supremely useful. It would be a safe be to say that there are folks out there that would happily trade the revolution that is the iPhone for an announcement that Windows will be all command line all the time, based on a subscription model and require two Mac Pros with maxed out memory hooked together to display all the text properly.

This explains why Mac users were so gleeful when the Seinfeld Microsoft ads were released. The Seinfeld stuff was actually pretty good but people didn't get it and Microsoft jettisoned the project before anyone saw the payoff. Mac users weren't as happy when Microsoft released the second set of ads but, as if to prove that their sole motivation doesn't revolve around Microsoft FAIL, bubbled over with unrestrained joy at Apple's response to the ads. The Mac commercials are entertaining but unless TV stations are running the ads for free Apple should've given the dough to Microsoft and told the company to put the "I'm a PC ads" into heavier rotation.

Yes, it's true: the best set of ads ever run for Apple are being run by Microsoft. If you look at the ads all you'll see is a seemingly endless string of people saying "I'm a PC". But the undercurrent is just as noticeable: "I'm a PC and I'm very, very scared". You intuitively know this. The first moment you saw the PC ad your first thought was likely "Wow, Microsoft is getting sick of those Apple ads!" But since you're reading Apple Matters you already know everything going on in the world of computers. For those not as well versed as you the thought is: "Wow, Microsoft is getting its collective ass handed to it by Apple." Which leads to the conclusion that Macs really are better but that it's okay to keep using Windows because a bunch of other people are willing to publicly admit it. 

That is a huge mistake by Microsoft. Instead of coming up with an ad that actually plays to the company's strengths Microsoft has come up with an Apple inspired campaign (clearly derivitive of the switch ads, real people using a platform) that responds weakly to the truest of Apple's claim. It is like Folger's coffee coming out with an ad saying that real people drink more Folger's coffee even if you see a lot of people at Starbucks. Yes, we know more people drink Folgers but that kind of ad reminds us that there is a Starbucks down the road and it is probably worth leaving the house five minutes early to get a hot cup of the good stuff.

Businessweek disagrees with this analysis. They see Apple cleverly drawing Microsoft into an ad war. That isn't the case. Apple can't really control what Ads Microsoft runs and there are plenty of ads Microsoft could run that could do some serious damage. Here's a few:

Ad 1: Gamer

This is a dead simple one. A pulsing crowd in a Best Buysih kind of store (no one could suspend belief if it was a crowded Circuit City type of store). Money changes hands, a gleeful teen is headed out the door with a brand new shooter. Zoom into the bottom of the box where it says "PC-DVD"

Window's: Yeah, it runs everything.

Ad 2: Restaurant

Waitress taking orders:

Hipster: Sushi

Stereotypical vegetarian: Vegan lasagna

Texan: A big honkin' steak. Rare!

Hadley Stern: Cheeseburger (Hadley always orders cheeseburgers)

Movie Making guy: Triple soy latte, no whip, double barista, triple sprinkles, beans from Guatamala!

Child: Banana split with gummi bears.

Jabba the Hut: Frogs

Voice over: You can't get this at a restaurant, but Windows is whatever you want it to be.

Windows: Yeah, it's for everyone.

Ad 3: Hardware

Slides of disparate computers slide by. A huge Laptop. A tiny laptop. A monster desktop with a tiny monitor, a tiny desktop with a huge monitor. A Mac. A cell phone. An ATM.

People chat about how cool each thing is as it slides by.

Windows: Yeah, it powers everything

But since it is campaign season let's add in some purely negative ads. Plus negative ads are way more fun.

Ad 1: Money waster

Talking head: "Apple is Steve Jobs and when Steve leaves your Mac will suck. I had lunch with Steve last week. he didn't eat a whole lot. Just sayin'"

Windows: Yeah, it will be there next year.

Ad 2: They're stealing from you

SLow pan over a pile of computer parts

Voice over: These are the guts of a wickedly fast personal computer. If you connect them all and put them in a pretty box you can get this and pay $2500 (shows iMac). Put them in a box under you desk and you'll pay $1250. We hope you like pretty boxes.

Windows: Pay for the power, not pretty boxes

Ad 3: Work

Jim: Geeze, don't send that to Bob, he won't get it.

Dave: There's nothing offensive about it!

Jim: It isn't that, it's just, well, you know Bob's a little…

Dave: A little what?

Jim: A little different. You know Bob likes to go his own way. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Dave: You mean…

Jim: Bob's a Mac user. He can't open CAD files.

Dave: Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Windows: Everyone uses it. But it's okay if you don't. Hippy.

Ad 4: Shoe Store

Guy walks into a shoe store

Salesman: Would you like to see our shoe?

Guy (puzzled): Um sure.

Salesman whips out a pair of beautiful conquistadors

Salesman: They come in size 11.

Guy: I wanted sandals and I'm a size thirteen.

Salesman: We'll tell you what you need. Size 11, conquistadors. They run a little tight.

Guy walks out

Windows: Yeah, we know you can decide for yourself.

Those are just random ads, a decent marketing company could come up with much better ideas. Ads that either really highlight why people don't like Macs or reinforce the reasons people want to use Windows. Don't expect Microsoft to suddenly shift tactics after the embarrassment of the Seinfeld ads (you can't admit to that many mistakes) so, for now, just sit back and enjoy watching Microsoft accidentally carry water for Apple.